Any kitty cuties looking for a date?

I know it's short notice since it's Saturday night, but are there any kitty cuties out there looking for a single purrfect gentlecat?  For the last two years I've been desperately in love with a cougar hunter named Lily, but no matter how many times I pounce on her I can't seem to win her over.  The ladies out there nowadays certainly are complicated!  I heard gals like spontaneity in their male counterparts, so I started finding different places to jump out of to surprise Lilly.  I've hidden behind the couch, behind the door, under the bed, in a plant...you name it and I've hidden behind it.  For some odd reason when I jump out and tackle her to the ground she tries to claw my eyes out.  I just don't get it...can't she see what a passionate lover I am?  Anyways,  two years has been long enough and I am ready for true love!  So if you are looking for a  gentlecat who is spontaneous, charming, passionate, handsome, generous (I'll share my treats with the right kitty), and has a little extra meat on his bones then look no further- I'm your cat.  You can reach me anytime, day or night, at 1-617-55-OLLIE.